Why is it that men in our society can call the shots, tell us how it’s going to be, and we, as women, just sit back, smile and nod and simply accept it for what it is – a decision made by a man, for a man, and in the “best interest” of the family/situation/etc.?
“Where is this coming from,” you might be wondering. “This is not her usual snarky banter about stupid things happening to her.”
No, it’s not. I apologize in advance if this is going to be a boring read for some of you. I had a conversation with my friend, Trixie, this morning and it really got me thinking about women and the role we are expected to play in decision making.
Now, I don’t know if this is simply a Southern-thing, or if it is a universal girl-card-carrying-thing. Maybe y’all can help me out with that. Read on:
So my friend Trixie is explaining to us that a major dynamic has changed in her household. Won’t go into details about it out of respect for her privacy, but Trixie called the ball, and is telling us what a horrible person she is, and is it bad that she can accept the fact that she is selfish and terrible?
What? Terrible? Selfish? Oh, honey, I don’t think so.
See, I think the thing is that society, being what it is, even in the 21stcentury, has tried to delude women into thinking that it’s okay to care for ourselves, but only after we’ve first cared for everyone else in our
lives, first. Significant others, offspring, bosses, employees, the family dog, and the family debts. Now, I don’t know about you, but I find that after I’ve cared for all of the above? There isn’t a whole lot of time for me to care for Julie.
So now Trixie is feeling terrible because she’s a bad person, because she is confusing self-preservation for selfishness.
Society has drilled into our heads that we have to be simply satisfied with our station in life, that if we speak up and vocalize what is truly best for us, we are bad, selfish, terrible people.
Ladies, that is not the case.
Sometimes you HAVE to put yourself first.
Sometimes you HAVE to speak up.
It doesn’t make you terrible or bad. It is your way of preserving your sanity by saying, “This isn’t ok.” Wouldn’t you rather do that than to put up, shut up, and two months down the line be tearing your hair out and popping Xanax because you didn’t speak up?
Oh…and for Squirrel? For her next birthday, which is still AGES away (it has to be, as mine is only 11 days after hers), this is what we are both going to have when we blow out our next candles:
I am hoping that the way we are raising our girls (Generally speaking, since I didn’t have a daughter) will do away with that attitude. Part of the problem is the left over attitude we were raised with. We don”t seem to figure out that we don’t “need” a man to run our lives for us until we are older or they are gone. I think in the teen years too often, girls are so infatuated with their hormones and having their own self image problems with all the body changes, that they just think they have to have a boyfriend like every other girl (or so they think). I keep hoping the next generation will be more confident and not miss out on the great thing call a balanced relationship with a loving partner as opposed to slavery under the guise of misunderstood religion!!
Squirrel, if they ever figure out how to customize that to look like your favorite knife holder person…..they’ll make a gazillion dollars.
That is EXACTLY right! 🙂
Well, I have a birthday coming up ( way to frakking) soon. I think I want THIS:
I think Trixie needs to not be a floor mat for the man. Just because he has a penis, girls, does not mean you have to go down on one knee and worship it.
That costs extra.
Four snaps in a Z formation, baby! I borrowed our Birthday gift for the last image in the blog. WTG! Mad love for the Squirrel! xoxo
For the men who still think that a woman’s place is in the kitchen……just remember, that’s where all the knives are.
I can’t figure out how to put a picture here, but hopefully these two links will work……
LOL!!!! I love those!!! 🙂