Ok, so here is the thing…Y’all know I got zapped by an NC State Trooper on my way home from RDU in late December after having taken yet another fall off the curb in the airport parking lot due to the George-ran-me-over situation.

Tomorrow is my court date.  I called my Legal Shield people, who put me in touch with an attorney in Johnston County, where I was pulled. Even at a discount, it was going to cost me well over three-hundred clams to get him to go in, reduce the charges, and probably get me to attend a driver safety class some weekend.  I didn’t have it.

Well, I’m not cheap by nature.  I’m just broke.  ESPECIALLY after having that root canal done.

Usually, by know, the Hubs’ check is in the bank.  Oh, nooooo…not this time.  Seriously?  I’m so broke right now I can’t pay attention.

I’m going to visit with the DA tomorrow morning, first thing, to see if this can’t be reduced, given that in 30+ years of driving, this is my first ever moving violation.  But there isn’t enough cash in the primary checking to pay court costs and even a reduced fine.

I REALLY don’t want to go to jail. First of all, I look like garbage in orange. It clashes with my hair.  Secondly, I fear bed bug infested, flat-as-a-board mattresses affixed to cots chained to the walls. Thirdly, the idea of having to use the bathroom where people can SEE me? OMG…. And finally, I worry the most about some freaky cell mate that may overpower me and sit on my face. *shudder*

In retrospect, I should NOT have gone shopping last weekend, but OMG…J’s check usually has come in and CLEARED by now.

And what really bothers me is that I have committed to going to a friend’s birthday party Saturday evening, which isn’t like me, because I don’t usually have time to be social, but this one sounds like so much fun, I don’t want to miss it, but how does one send the regrets?  “Dear Friends…It pains me to tell you that I will be unable to bring Sake to your birthday event, due to my unfortunate incarceration. I had no idea that my freak once-in-a-lifetime lead foot would have me locked up. Please bake me a cake with a file inside and I will try to make it.”

OMG! I am so white bread that even going in front of the DA scares the crap out of me.  I don’t BREAK the law.  I have NO record! (Ok, except for that one time, when I was 17 and it snowed on Mt. Hamilton in San Jose, and you all know it DOESN’T snow much in the silicon valley, if ever, and I cut class to drive up there with my friends and got caught at the summit and got a free ride back to town, via the SJPD, to the truancy center, whereupon my DAD had to come get me…but it was snow. In San Jose, California…cut me a break!)

Like I want to be sending THAT on Facebook Events.  Oh, wait.  I bet we don’t get Internet in County Lockup.  I bet they won’t even let me have my iPhone.

Until next time…(and maybe it won’t be 30-60 days from now….)  😦