Yes, I know…I missed the Friday Wrap-Up, and I was sadly unprepared for this week’s Monday New Fiction blog.
That said, there just weren’t enough hours in any of my days this last few days since I last posted.
Tonight’s blog, however, is politically motivated, which is actually kind of bizarre for me, because seriously? I don’t DO politics.
Not only do I not do politics? I shy away from political discussions and will literally run the other way to keep from being involved. My parents used to tell me that there were three things one did not discuss in mixed company…Religion, politics, and something else…Might have been sex, but you know what? I threw that particular item out the window, as it IS one of my favorite subjects.
So without further ado? Let’s get on to my rant du jour, shall we?
If you live in the great state of North Carolina, then you are either a new resident, blind, deaf, or all of the above, if you are over 18 and have not heard about the Marriage Ammendment aka Amendment 1. A News & Observer Q&A is quoted as follows:
“North Carolina has a law defining marriage as between a man and a woman. How would a constitutional amendment change the law?
Current law defines “a valid and sufficient marriage” as the union of a “male and female person.” The language in the constitutional amendment says, “Marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this state.” The extra wording in the amendment makes it farther-reaching, critics say, banning domestic partnerships and civil unions.”
So what might my problem with this, you may be asking? It’s the part that bans domestic partnerships and civil unions.
I will tell you. While I’m not what you might call bleeding heart liberal, I am also not the most up tight right wing conservative you have ever met, either. I consider myself something of a middle of the road Independent, if you must know.
Why do I have an issue with Amendment One? Because it infringes on anyone involved in a domestic partnership, whether gay or straight. Now out of the gate, let us be clear that I have absolutely NO problem with same sex relationships in any way, shape, or form, which will probably make me very unpopular with my uber conservative friends, and that’s ok. Love me or leave me. I is who I is. The heart wants what the heart wants, and I am a firm believer in the phrase, “God doesn’t make junk.”
Now, let’s get down to brass tacks, shall we?
Let’s say you and your beloved, who is your significant other, have been together for many years. He or she gets sick. The family never really liked you, anyway. You want to see him or her. They can keep you away from that hospital room. You may or may not have been insured through your SO’s employer…if something happens to your SO and you were together for a very long time, do you think you will get survivor benefits? I’m betting not.
I’m not going to go on and on and on about this, because I think I have made my point, but I am going to say that I saw a show on HBO some many years back, called “If These Walls Could Talk 2” and it pertained to lesbian couples, and one story that stuck out to me was the one where the elderly women had been living together in a domestic partnership and their home belonged to one of them. The home owner took a fall and died. The partner was basically shit out of luck, because the family of the deceased let her collect her items in a box and ran her out of town on a rail. It sucked. It pissed me off. I mean REALLY pissed me off. That said, I found parts one and two on youtube, so please watch and be as pissed as I was the first time I saw this, and then let your conscience be your guide, because this doesn’t have to happen. To ANYONE.
If you are in a partnership and have been so for many years, then who is our government to say you can’t receive death benefits?
Why does it matter?
What happens to my friend, “A,” who has been in a partnership with her man, “G,” if he gets sick or worse? They’re not married. Why does she have no rights? It’s NOT fair…
For another take on this, please visit Bain Waves. Dan said this so much better than I ever could!
If you have an empathetic bone in your body, vote NO on the Marriage Amendment, huh?
Jules my Mom in law lived with her partner for 8 years. He always said that the house was hers but never wrote a will. When he passed away his siblings assured her that the house was hers. A few months later when his siblings realised that money was involved “the house is yours” was forgotten. I spoke to lawyers on her behalf. It seems in South Africa common law unions mean nothing legally. We are however much more progressive in some aspects as same sex marriages are recognised here.
Good blog and great discussion resultant. I just wish everybody would remember one thing – and never mind where the idea originated from:
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. ‘Nuff said.
Charles Dickens had Ebeneezer Scrooge say it best in “A Christmas Carol” with this quote, “It is enough for a man to understand his own business, and not to interfere with other people’s. Mine occupies me constantly.”
I would take this quote and plaster it on the forehead of anyone who support the ammendment and ask them the question, “Do you really have time to tell other people what is right and wrong? Can you not mind your own affairs and leave others to mind their own?” Don’t get me wrong, I’m a good Christian boy who still says his prayers to God on hands and knees; but I am so tired of the “Bible’s” definition of marriage. Folks, the Bible is over 2,000 years old and what was the norm back then is definitely not the norm now. It’s all about choice. We’re all grownups and can make our own choices. I’m a pretty civil and nice guy, but if you try to tell me how to run my life, you’re asking for a sore ear when I start yelling in it.
Some of my nicest and most compassionate friends are gays and lesbians…and there’s not a darn thing wrong with them.
The other reason you don’t want this ammendment to pass is that since it will take North Carolina back into the Stone Age, I’ll have to dress like Barney Rubble (who I do have a slight resemblance to) and believe me, that won’t be pretty! 🙂
I’ll buy that for a dolla
Excellent post, Jules! It really does come down to empathy, doesn’t it?
Thanks, Dan! It sure does!
It’s all about choice. Just because someone else wouldn’t make the same choices I would doesn’t mean I should have my choices taken away.
As the interweb quote goes: “Being against same-sex relationships is like getting angry at someone for eating a doughnut when you’re on a diet”
what other people do, if it does not infringe on your own personal rights and freedoms, is up to them. This is a great post and thank you for sharing!
Outstanding analogy about the donut & the diet, Kaitlyn!
Thank you, and I am glad you enjoyed it.
Now this is one fine postin’ right here, Mrs. Juile!
I have a certain distaste for a social conservative who needs everyone else live by their personal standards. Live how you want to live, believe what you want to believe…but as long as they aren’t harming you or anyone else, keep your stupid face out of everyone else’s business. Chuck and Jim surely do not give a rat’s booty about who you marry…so doesn’t it seem a little crazy for you to worry about who they marry?
Still, as I’m sure you’ve seen me spout from my rickety little soap box before…that is not the main issue with this amendment. The constitution is mean to protect our freedoms, not restrict them. It was never meant for specific social issues. It was meant to provide a framework for our laws to work within to provide freedom and justice for all. This amendment does the opposite. This is nothing more than a political stunt meant to buy votes…the cost is our way of governing for the last 200+ years. Unfortunately, many see it as something that the end justifies the means. Well, once you open that door, good luck shutting it. After tomorrow, I hope I am proud that my state not only stood up for equality for all, but stood for the American way of life and governing…and that this sinking feeling in my stomach is only a bug.
See? This is why I adore you, Harris! You have your head screwed on straight, and my little circle of friends all feel the same way…I love the whole Chuck and Jim analogy…You are amazing…And I am SO proud to call you ‘FRIEND!’
Ok…let’s try again…..(Insert a growl here….)
First of all, thumbs up to Squirrel! I couldn’t agree more….
Now on with my rant…I don’t think this is a situation when people need to come forth to declare what they personally feel about marriage. If you don’t believe in domestic partnerships, gay marriage, interracial relationships, or anything else that offends your way of being, the solution is simple: DON’T DO IT YOURSELF. But, don’t tell other people how THEY SHOULD LIVE, because at the end of the day, you are not the person going home with their choices. And please save me the crap that God only approves marriage between a man and a woman…according to God’s word (at least as it is stated in the innumerable translations available on the market), God also made it clear that no union created by Him should be broken by men, yet self-righteous believers divorce every day. So…if you are going to live by the Word of God, live by ALL of it, not just by the parts that comfortably fit your agenda.
Also….this afternoon I heard how pressured President Obama feels by this issue. Really? He feels pressured? Dear Mr. President, if you plan on leading a country like ours, please grow some balls. You should be standing by what YOU know is right and not by what other people expect of you. If you are going to lose some votes because you show you actually have a spine, you will gain just as many back from people who want a real leader in power.
it’s like abortion. Don’t like it? don’t f*ing GET ONE.
Go to bed!
See? This is why we need a like button on WordPress! Beautifully stated, Sandra!!!!
Thank you, Julie! This type of issues makes my blood boil because they shouldn’t be issues to start with.
Good!!! I’m lucky I live in Canada, but I have many gay friends and I feel for those who cannot marry.
It’s crazy down here…We’re in the Bible Belt, so you can only imagine. I don’t usually do politics, but this isn’t just about SSM’s…it’s about ANYONE who isn’t married…
Where did my comment go??
where is the first one????
I’m afraid so….God bless its little soul. 🙂
where’s the damn LIKE button?
People…Firstly—-Always get your wishes in WRITING. Don’t leave it up to family—those fuckers will turn on you for a crisp, new Dollar Bill. Secondly—Living in a domesticated Partnershippy thing— Draw up a last will/testament. Don’t lose your house because you are a dumbass.
Fat, Drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son…
God BLESS you, Skwarl, and AMEN!!!!
The atheist says “can I get a witness, yo!”
I’ll see your witness, yo, and raise you a buck, eh! 🙂