Neighbor Update

So, I’m sitting on the back deck last night around eight pm, the smell of my idiot neighbors’ BBQ party lingering in the air. These guys have a very nice uncovered back deck to grill on, but they decided to use their covered front porch, instead.

Oh, I bet you know where this is going, don’t you? Well, you are only half right. I don’t think the grill was actually the cause of the fire…

Just before the flames erupted, I had noticed an item that looked like a Sterno can on steroids sitting on the porch rail burning about six inches across, and about the same high. I was curious, but I was also hungry, and my need for late supper overcame my curiosity. I was about to get up and go inside when I heard this bizarre “WHOOOOOOOSH!!!!!!! And then I heard the screams.

The hubs muttered something along the lines of, “holy shit!”

I spun around and saw the “Sterno” can on fire with these huge flames blowing out and then up over the porch roof. Before I could grab my phone, the boneheads threw something over it to put it out. (This is a good thing, because while I am a pacifist by nature, I will beat your ass if you set my home on fire because you are an idiot.)

I Facebooked about this, because my friends are also familiar with these morons next door. If you aren’t? See my previous entry.

Terri asked for pictures, and this evening was the first opportunity I had to scamper over there with my phone and snap a couple.

I told the hubs I thought that our builder, whose business is right across the highway from our cul de sac, still owned the home and might be interested in knowing about the melted soffit and the railing on the porch missing half it’s spindles because they are lying about what’s left of the flower beds, the undeserving victims of drunken kick boxing matches.

So he paid the owner a visit and told him about the parties, the trash in our yard and the stuff we’d been dealing with since January. Apparently the property management company that we’d spoken to several times about this had never mentioned any of this to the owner. J said G.W. was starting to get ticked. The lid blew off when he told G.W. about the fire.

J came back to the house and apparently the owner was right behind him, the management company on the other end of his speaker phone, and boy, was the owner letting them hold it!

Dollars to donuts, they’ll be gone before Labor Day. I live in hope…

Not sure how much burn the pictures show, but the first is the burned soffit, and the second of the charred shingles.




14 thoughts on “Neighbor Update

  1. lmao! I’ve been luck with neighbors. The worst one I had was this bodybuilder who would never mow his lawn. I’m not crazy about my lawn, but I cut it once a week in the spring and summer. His lawn must have been 24 inches tall, and there he was – on his lounge chair (no fence) all oiled up and tanning away. I’m sure that the women in the neighborhood weren’t too offended by the lawn, but for me it was like seeing a sleeping rhino on the African plains.

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