Yes, this is my whiner blog. If whining offends you, check back another time…
It’s been one of those weeks.
We all have them, don’t we? I mean…It isn’t just me, right?
The day job has been kind of a drain. New boss. I like him, but down time is at a premium now. Lunch breaks? No, thank you. I feel that I have something to prove, which, I’ve been told, I actually do.
I feel like I’ve lost my best friend, which, in a sense, I have, and I don’t like it. Not a bit. When you spend more than your fair share of waking hours with someone and they simply disappear? Not a great feeling.
The disability people are being ass hats. And I don’t mean that in the nicest possible way, either. Let’s rephrase: Our primary disability company people are being Possum Fucking Ass Hats! They seem to have screwed up their numbers somehow and have come up with our owing THEM an ungodly amount in back pay because Social Security kicked in. I’m not quite seeing how we can owe them more than DOUBLE what we got from Social Security retroactive from March 11. I get the whole back pay part, but for it to be TWICE what we received???? I just don’t get it. He is SUPPOSED to get 60% of his gross income when he became disabled, but THE HARTFORD, kind souls that they are (where is that sarcasm font when you need it) seem to think that 40% of his gross income is plenty to live on. H’Okaaaaay? Seriously? Not that I’m name dropping, but…well, I’m name dropping…THE HARTFORD THE HARTFORD THE HARTFORD!!!!!!!!
One of my very first ever studio clients (who is actually kin to one of my close girlfriends) lost her home to a fire earlier this week. My mind has a hard time getting around the fact that within an hour, someone’s entire life; what they’ve worked so hard to obtain; can be absolutely gutted, leaving nothing but soot and ashes. My heart breaks for this family, and fundraising efforts are underway.
Weeks like this make me sit and reflect on better times, which seem to be slipping through my fingers faster than I can hang onto them. Today’s thought centers around the Best Day Ever, and while focusing on the positive wonderment of that day, it still breaks my heart because I know that there will never ever be another day like it.
I feel like that cozy little cocoon I’ve been living in for the last several months is gone and while I’m trying to pick the pieces up and put them back together? Those pieces are falling apart in my hands…
My shelter’s gone. My sense of any kind of security is gone – moral, financial, you name it. I am just not feeling it.
I’m tired of being the strong one. I’m tired of being the girl whose ass has sunshine coming out of it 24/7. I don’t WANT to be the problem solver, the nurturer that cares for everyone around me, the fix-it girl. I want someone to take care of ME for a change. I know how selfish that sounds, but it is what it is.
So I’ve whined, I’ve tried to get it out of my system, and I appreciate you getting through this…
Oh, and for the woman whose ass I am supposed to be kissing? My answer remains the same: Screw you! Karma’s a bitch, and know that you’re going to get yours…The fates have a way of hooking that up, beeotch! 🙂
P.S. Sometimes it’s good to know the Preacher’s kid…It helps to keep an open mind….That said? Thanks Steven & Jim!!! ❤ xoxo