I think I realized that commercials were starting to get bizarre about a year ago; around the time back to school commercials were starting to air in 2011. The ones that specifically stick out in my mind are the ones from Target. Do y’all remember the dorky music teacher singing about denim? That damn jingle became the ear-worm from hell for me. I could not get that song out of my head until Christmas.

Then, too, was that same year’s crazy homemaker who spent weeks warming up and training for the Black Friday sale at (where else?) Target.

Fast forward to this year’s back to school season…Not only did Target absolutely deface some of my all time favorite 80’s retro songs, but JCP came out with a bone chilling commercial that I found utterly depressing.

It was still early August out here in “go to the beach” country; the free kids’ cuts in August commercial. They showed this adorable little girl swinging across the rings in a swimsuit, with the wonderful backdrop of the beach. But then the angle shifts, and we see the poor thing finishing her journey on the rings and landing, dressed in her new school clothes, in the school yard and grinning like back to school is just the best! (insert gushing voice here) thing ever! Now, at my age, you know it’s been a good, oh, I don’t know? Ten or fifteen years since a back to school commercial really got under my skin, but this one absolutely did.

Yesterday, as I was sucking down coffee with the Hubs and watching Good Morning America, I heard one of the hosts refer to Black Friday as the “annual orgy of capitalism,” and I literally laughed out loud. You see, this girl avoids retail like the plague pretty much from Thanksgiving until after the new year. Shoppers can be scary this time of year, and while I am generally a pacifist, my mouth has been known to get away from me during rare excursions to my local retail outlet. Let’s be honest. There are only so many times a person can be rammed by shopping carts in a single trip to the store before even the most peace-loving person will go off. Folks are just rude during the holidays! Drives me nuts, so I shop online. Safer for everyone that way, trust me.

I think the commercials that tickle me the most are the ones where people are getting cars for Christmas. Cars? Really? I am happy with a new bathrobe, so a car is inconceivable to me. Johnny, on the other hand, is a little creeped out by the talking exclamation point in the Big Lots commercials. This happy little piece of punctuation is a whole lot more realistic to me than the idea of finding that brand new Benz in the driveway with a big red bow on it. Just sayin’

And Target? For Black Friday, they did not disappoint, again this year. There are two that made me want to switch channels as soon as I saw them the first time, and only one got better the more I heard it, because we both laugh at it. The other? The more I saw it, the more I wanted to throw something at the TV.

So, in honor of the season, I present to you these, in order of preference, if you can call it that:

and

Which commercials do you love this time of year? Which ones can’t you stand? I look forward to seeing what everyone else thinks.

Until Next Time….