My blog buddy at The “S” Word posted some entries from her diary during her teen years, and I mentioned that I’d found a few volumes, but was less than motivated to post mine because…BO-RING…but she encouraged me so here are some from thirty-plus years back…I think I’m all of fifteen when I wrote these first actual entries… (The other pretty significant reason for posting this is toward the end.)
July 8, 1980 – Today I went to our youth group meeting and gave Larry M. my phone number. Emily and Karen say they think he likes me, and Sherrie says she KNOWS he does. I hope so. He’s nicer than Bob, and he’s about the same age as Bob. (Note from your grown up self: be advised that sometimes they never grow up. Even the grey haired ones go through their own same-as-when-they-were-teenager insecurities!)
July 9, 1980 – Guess who called me? Right! Larry! I know for sure he likes me. See: Joe called Emily and told her that when he was with Larry he looked in Larry’s glove-box and pulled out my number. Larry goes, “Don’t lose that! It’s important!” Joe asked what it was and Larry goes, “It’s Julie’s number. Don’t lose it. I need it!” (Here I am, again…while Mom might have warned us about gossip? The teen grapevine is actually fairly accurate, as silly as “Joe called Emily and told her that Larry said…” sounds.)
July 10, 1980 – Guess who asked me to see the Empire Strikes Back?! Larry! Bummer that I couldn’t go. (Growwwwwwwwl!) He said he’s going to come over so he can meet Mom & Dad. Soon, is how he put it. Heavy Sigh! I ran around the house all hyped out for almost an hour. (See what I mean about that grapevine???!!! Told ya.)
July 15, 1980 – We got to youth group and Larry was there first. After the meting we sat around and talked for a half an hour. Just him and me at first, then others. Then he took me and Allison and Penny hone and we went cruising on El Camino, came home, and he met my parents and talked, we went outside, talked and then he kissed me good bye and told me he’d be by tomorrow, then left. *heavy sigh* (Word of advice? Don’t get too emotionally involved with this one, even though he IS serious eye candy. I wonder what he looks like now…so you know I had to go perusing the interwebz. He still has all his hair!)
So I dated “Larry” for what? about six weeks that summer? We went back to school (and we didn’t go to the same school, so that didn’t help, and poof! Game over, but I was okay with that.)
My diary entries during the rest of this volume were terribly yawn-worthy. The volume ended a couple months after school started, and I won’t bore you with a bunch of entries that say, “Nothing happened today.” 🙂
The following summer I turned sixteen and got a job at a local fast food restaurant. One of my co-workers set me up with one of the guys there…OMG, he was so purty. And his eyes? Holy Moses, he had the prettiest eyes I had ever seen in sixteen years. I can’t put my hands on the diaries, and found where I’d written a compilation of two or three volumes in case the actual diaries were lost at some point, which, apparently, they were. Some of those entries:
On Thursday Brad and I got off of work at the same time and we went to the college so he could register. Afterward, we went home to dinner here. My parents loved him. The next day he didn’t have the car, so he had to take the bus home and I met him after work and we hung out till the bus whisked him away.
On Monday after work Brad’s best friend and his girlfriend came by and I talked to them for a while. They had been dating forever and were talking about getting married a few years down the road and said that they thought Brad had made a good choice in dating me.
Let’s just say I went head over heels for this guy, we were talking futures, but religion got in the way. The entries went on, all gooey and sweet week after week and then it happened…We’d been going to each other’s church youth groups and services, had met each other’s parents, and it seemed like everything was going beautifully…but you know…my luck and all…
He got grounded for staying out too late with me one night, and he would stay after work to hang out with me. After two days of this, he showed up at the house and broke up with me because he felt that he was dishonoring his parents by doing that, and he couldn’t be as Godly as he wanted to be because of that, and so that was the end of that. He frigging broke my sixteen year old heart. And, sadly, I measured the feelings I had for all the future men in my life by how I felt for this guy (because, even at sixteen, love is love). And may I also say I was PUH-retty pissed off at my higher power of choice during this time. Because, seriously? I was destroyed. I couldn’t sleep for several nights running, had a hard time eating, and honestly thought my life was over.
Looking back (and I really hadn’t revisited this stuff in many, many, MANY years), I can see where the whole, “Jules, you are destined to be a REALLY sensitive grown-up” flag was flying high…But really? What kid recognizes that kind of stuff? They (we?) don’t, so it futher screws with their (our?) minds.
While I was Facebook/LinkedIn stalking, I also found him. His eyes are still just as gorgeous and engaging as can be; he’s not got all of his hair, but is still ridiculously attractive. He is also an administrative pastor at the same church he took me to on one of our dates. Been married since 1986, has a couple kids and a beagle. So I guess God knew what he was doing, because I am SOOOOO not pastor’s wife material.
I have recently seen a couple of younger (teen) bloggers that I follow take a hiatus from blogging given some emotional stuff going on with them. I think, in some ways, I wanted to put this out there so that they can see that this stuff, as painful as it really, truly IS at the time: a) this isn’t a permanent thing; and b) will help you grow into the adult that you will eventually be. There is no shame at all in any of this, girls (and guys).
I am going to leave it at that for right now, because I don’t want to bore you stupid. I will, however, put up some pictures of early adulthood, so that you can see how goober turns into young adult goober…