Me (on the left) with my hometown girl, Ally.
My blog buddy at The “S” Word posted some entries from her diary during her teen years, and I mentioned that I’d found a few volumes, but was less than motivated to post mine because…BO-RING…but she encouraged me so here are some from thirty-plus years back…I think I’m all of fifteen when I wrote these first actual entries… (The other pretty significant reason for posting this is toward the end.)
July 8, 1980 – Today I went to our youth group meeting and gave Larry M. my phone number. Emily and Karen say they think he likes me, and Sherrie says she KNOWS he does. I hope so. He’s nicer than Bob, and he’s about the same age as Bob. (Note from your grown up self: be advised that sometimes they never grow up. Even the grey haired ones go through their own same-as-when-they-were-teenager insecurities!)
July 9, 1980 – Guess who called me? Right! Larry! I know for sure he likes me. See: Joe called Emily and told her that when he was with Larry he looked in Larry’s glove-box and pulled out my number. Larry goes, “Don’t lose that! It’s important!” Joe asked what it was and Larry goes, “It’s Julie’s number. Don’t lose it. I need it!” (Here I am, again…while Mom might have warned us about gossip? The teen grapevine is actually fairly accurate, as silly as “Joe called Emily and told her that Larry said…” sounds.)
July 10, 1980 – Guess who asked me to see the Empire Strikes Back?! Larry! Bummer that I couldn’t go. (Growwwwwwwwl!) He said he’s going to come over so he can meet Mom & Dad. Soon, is how he put it. Heavy Sigh! I ran around the house all hyped out for almost an hour. (See what I mean about that grapevine???!!! Told ya.)
July 15, 1980 – We got to youth group and Larry was there first. After the meting we sat around and talked for a half an hour. Just him and me at first, then others. Then he took me and Allison and Penny hone and we went cruising on El Camino, came home, and he met my parents and talked, we went outside, talked and then he kissed me good bye and told me he’d be by tomorrow, then left. *heavy sigh* (Word of advice? Don’t get too emotionally involved with this one, even though he IS serious eye candy. I wonder what he looks like now…so you know I had to go perusing the interwebz. He still has all his hair!)
So I dated “Larry” for what? about six weeks that summer? We went back to school (and we didn’t go to the same school, so that didn’t help, and poof! Game over, but I was okay with that.)
My diary entries during the rest of this volume were terribly yawn-worthy. The volume ended a couple months after school started, and I won’t bore you with a bunch of entries that say, “Nothing happened today.” 🙂
The following summer I turned sixteen and got a job at a local fast food restaurant. One of my co-workers set me up with one of the guys there…OMG, he was so purty. And his eyes? Holy Moses, he had the prettiest eyes I had ever seen in sixteen years. I can’t put my hands on the diaries, and found where I’d written a compilation of two or three volumes in case the actual diaries were lost at some point, which, apparently, they were. Some of those entries:
On Thursday Brad and I got off of work at the same time and we went to the college so he could register. Afterward, we went home to dinner here. My parents loved him. The next day he didn’t have the car, so he had to take the bus home and I met him after work and we hung out till the bus whisked him away.
On Monday after work Brad’s best friend and his girlfriend came by and I talked to them for a while. They had been dating forever and were talking about getting married a few years down the road and said that they thought Brad had made a good choice in dating me.
Let’s just say I went head over heels for this guy, we were talking futures, but religion got in the way. The entries went on, all gooey and sweet week after week and then it happened…We’d been going to each other’s church youth groups and services, had met each other’s parents, and it seemed like everything was going beautifully…but you know…my luck and all…
He got grounded for staying out too late with me one night, and he would stay after work to hang out with me. After two days of this, he showed up at the house and broke up with me because he felt that he was dishonoring his parents by doing that, and he couldn’t be as Godly as he wanted to be because of that, and so that was the end of that. He frigging broke my sixteen year old heart. And, sadly, I measured the feelings I had for all the future men in my life by how I felt for this guy (because, even at sixteen, love is love). And may I also say I was PUH-retty pissed off at my higher power of choice during this time. Because, seriously? I was destroyed. I couldn’t sleep for several nights running, had a hard time eating, and honestly thought my life was over.
Looking back (and I really hadn’t revisited this stuff in many, many, MANY years), I can see where the whole, “Jules, you are destined to be a REALLY sensitive grown-up” flag was flying high…But really? What kid recognizes that kind of stuff? They (we?) don’t, so it futher screws with their (our?) minds.
While I was Facebook/LinkedIn stalking, I also found him. His eyes are still just as gorgeous and engaging as can be; he’s not got all of his hair, but is still ridiculously attractive. He is also an administrative pastor at the same church he took me to on one of our dates. Been married since 1986, has a couple kids and a beagle. So I guess God knew what he was doing, because I am SOOOOO not pastor’s wife material.
I have recently seen a couple of younger (teen) bloggers that I follow take a hiatus from blogging given some emotional stuff going on with them. I think, in some ways, I wanted to put this out there so that they can see that this stuff, as painful as it really, truly IS at the time: a) this isn’t a permanent thing; and b) will help you grow into the adult that you will eventually be. There is no shame at all in any of this, girls (and guys).
I am going to leave it at that for right now, because I don’t want to bore you stupid. I will, however, put up some pictures of early adulthood, so that you can see how goober turns into young adult goober…
Random Musings From a Type-A Workaholic 
This took time, energy and perseverance! You have always been a writer, Julie! I appreciate the way you chose to feature your original thoughts and then your grown up thoughts. I think (although it is a superficial comment, everyone likes compliments, right?) You were gorgeous as a young girl, then a beautiful young woman, too! I like that you can look up your exes, but you know I had ones with rather ordinary last names and they don’t seem as easy to find! I do have LinkedIn but no Facebook page. To let you in on my age, I am looking forward to my 40th high school reunion this year! Smiles, Robin
It took a little detective work on the pastor, because he isn’t on FB as himself (they go by HeAndSheLastname, which I never would have found, except that the church has a FB page and he was tagged). We visited my mom this afternoon and over dinner I was telling her that I had tracked them both down and I think she thinks I am a little bit nuts.
I look at these old pictures and remember how awkward I felt. I still have my moments, but at least I am awkward at appropriate times (funerals, arguments between married friends, etc.), haha!
Thank you for the lovely compliment! 🙂
Haha! Oh the joys of being a teenager again…..pre cell phone was way more hilarious than this texting bs….great read! Thank you and look forward to more!
Thank you. 🙂 I am sooooo glad I was a kid before cell phones and selfies. That would have only been further proof. Heheheh.
This is FABULOUS Julie. It is one of my favourite posts 🙂
I love how when you look back you realise how differently you once felt. It’s an important thing to do.
Your pictures are stunning! You are beautiful!
Awwwww, Thanks, Janey! I may do another next Throwback Thursday…
Oh what a sweet post!, “because I am soooo not pastor’s wife material!” You crack me up! Glad we found each other in the blog world. 🙂
Me, too! If I think it, it usually comes out here, more often than not. 😉
😀
You’re hilarious! I really like your writing style 🙂
LOVE this post Julie! Lessons learned most definitely! I ‘m with Kristin…..great message for teens! And I too used to never ever EVERY leave the house without a full face of makeup and now???? I really could care less most of the time. My hubby tells me he thinks I’m beautiful without it, but I still tell him he’s nuts and needs glasses! lol I was lucky enough to meet my soulmate very young. We met in May of 85, never really went out on an actual “date” and got married in August of 85. I was 17. We have had our share of ups and downs over the years, belieeeeve me (hell and back a couple of times), but he’s still my best friend and truly is my soulmate! Thank you for taking me back to my teen years and reminiscing about my crushes….I remember being heartbroken more than once and am still pretty tenderhearted…….memories….we had to go through all those things to learn our lessons and get to where we are today though! 🙂
Oh, wow, Lisa! You are one of the lucky ones! What a romantic story!!! ❤ I was really torn on whether to hit that publish button or not, but knew if I did, my two teen blogger friends would NEVER see it, then. I'm not an anonymous blogger, and a lot of my r/l friends and coworkers know about it, and some even read and follow, so this was kind of a squirmy area for me. But, so far, nobody has come by and tossed rotten tomatoes into my office, so I guess it's ok, LOL…
I’m sure you’ll be fine! ALL of us can relate! If someone says they don’t, I would say they aren’t telling the truth about that. So, no worries! 😀
And the worst that could happen is y’all could get to know me better, LOL…win-win! 😀
lol EXACTLY! And the more we know you, the more we love you! 😀
Wow Julie!! First, beauty queen!! You have ALWAYS been sooo gorgeous!! You are quite the beauty!! Second, I love this post because #1- it’s a very interesting read, but also because it sends a great message to teens! Thanks so much for sharing!! I enjoyed reading this post very much!
Thanks, Kristin! I guess there is another lesson in here, too. 😉 That no matter what a girl looks like, it’s quite possible she doesn’t see it in herself. I never did, still don’t, really, but now don’t feel that I MUST put makeup on if I am going to leave the house. 😀
Julie, I totally get what you’re saying. I feel the same way about myself. I definitely still don’t see what my husband tells me he sees. I used to always have to wear makeup, too, but now, I definitely don’t have it on most days for errands and things like that. It feels good to just let go! 🙂 Thanks for sharing a part of yourself with me!! XOXO!!!
EXCELLENT!!!!!
Thanks, Skwarl. Hard post to share, believe it or not. Was like turning into Junior Goob all over again.
My high school sweetheart was FOXY…Totes adorbs and man…he was gay. Totally gay. Like dancing in the bushes gay. Just not MY bush.
((sigh))
Were you heartbroken? I would have been heartbroken, but we have apparently learned that I have been super tender-hearted since youth.
Such a great post, Julie. I’ve been there as well, thinking that there would be no tomorrow when my love of my life left me at 18. It was so all encompassing. Not eating, just dwelling and dwelling. I hope that your post today reaches every kid who is experiencing it. There is a tomorrow. And things happen for a reason. I love the photos, btw!
I REALLY hesitated before hitting the “publish” button this evening, Rob.
The evening that I stalked the guy from the restaurant made me really question where my head was. I dreamed about the angst I hadn’t thought of in years and woke up the next morning feeling VERY unsettled, las if I had just re-experienced it all again. As the day went on, though, I regained my bearings, remembered who I’d become, and went through the rest of my day being really proud of the woman that I am now.
This post was weeks in the making, and I probably wouldn’t have published it, except for the last posts from the bloggers I mentioned.
Thank you for being kind. ❤
I totally get it. I’ve cyber stalked to the extent that I found out where my ‘true love’ was living and where she was in her life. I had the same feelings as you did. As if the closure of time was reopened and I was unsettled. I think that the reality is, if we were to reunite with our ‘true loves’, we would be so disappointed on what was impressive to us in our youth. I’m very happy that you’ve shared this with us. So many of us have similar memories and situations and revel in that you are an amazing woman. His loss.
Rob
Ahhh, now I need a tissue. Thank you, Rob! Sincerely…
But I truly would have made a horrific pastor’s wife. I’m kind of a wild thing, and more than a bit of a heathen.
Word of advice to us grown older folks: sometimes it is better to leave things un-researched. 😉
And I would have made a terrible husband and father at 18. So much has changed since then, so many opinions and beliefs have come and gone. I wrote a song and published it on my blog a while ago. It’s the most autobiographical song I’ve ever written:
http://weight2lose2013.wordpress.com/random-musings/for-the-ex-pt-2/
Yes, there is wisdom in the adage ‘leave well enough alone’.
I will send up an absolute AMEN to that!