Alright, maybe not WORLD domination, but domination of MY world. Yes, I think that is more accurate, but not nearly as cool sounding as the title of this post. That said? The title stays and consider this paragraph the disclaimer. 😉 And it made you look!
I am more than a little overwhelmed at the day job these days, which kind of frustrates me. Workplace violence is not my thing, so what does a girl such as myself do to combat the frustration that gets overwhelming sometimes? Fantasize, baby! Because if you can’t laugh about it? Seriously, why bother?
Home away from home…
As some of you know, I work in the healthcare field, and am not a clinical employee. I fly a desk and make sure that the requested admin support gets done for some of the other non-clinical departments that we support. One of our supported departments moves patients. I have been trying to get my hands on said department for just under a year because it would help me meet the qualifications needed for the title (and subsequent pay increase) of Manager.
Now that you kind of know the back-story, I can catch you up the rest of the way.
In said department is an individual we will call “X.” Every workplace has one individual that thinks the rules don’t apply to them and may have a dash of nuts to add to their personalities. I, myself, have a generous sprinkling of nuts that I don’t apologize for. Let it be said for the record, I have always gotten along with X, until this whole thing went down.
She has a locker assigned to her, but it’s on the far side of the ground floor. Besides, who really wants to walk all that way when you can just throw your lunch box in our already over-crowded, under-spaced, bursting-at-the-seams-because-we-just-don’t-have-much-room-anyway office? X was asked, then told, to get and keep her lunch box out of our office, because we had enough to keep up with, and therefore could not be relied upon to keep an eye on her lunch box. We wouldn’t see her for a day or two, but then she’d come back. And it wasn’t like she’d slip in, get it, and slip out again. Oh, no…She would burst into our office, make a huge production out of getting something out of her lunch box, and then make a point to speak to everyone at their desks. This happened 2-4 times daily.
This in and out routine had gone on for months, and after several calls to her supervisor, nothing was alleviating the problem, so my girls decided to take matters into their own hands. They hid X’s lunch box. Well, actually, it was more like they simply moved it to a different shelf on the bookcase.
Apparently it was partially obscured by a three inch binder, so it wasn’t glaringly obvious where it was. Later that morning X came in looking for her lunch box. I was up to my eyeballs configuring tablets for one of our other departments, and wasn’t really paying all that much attention to what was going down on the opposite side of the wall that I had my back to. Yeah, I probably should have been. Apparently X had the coconuts to get in my receptionist’s face. I am surprised that it didn’t get any uglier than it did. Needless to say, X never set foot in this office again.
Remember that dash of nuts I mentioned earlier? Those came into play a week or two later. X had been telling anyone that would listen about how MEAN those girls in my department were, and how the whole lot of us were just a bunch of bullies and how anyone could like coming into our office was simply beyond her. I had finally finished getting those tablets up and running for the other department and was returning to my little corner of the world after having trained the management team upstairs. I was getting off the elevator on the ground floor when I came face to face with one of these:
Imagine one of these, decked out with blankets and a patient, heading right for you!
Yup. A Stryker hospital bed, complete with patient, and who would be behind the bed? You bet! It was X and she made no secret of the fact that she was trying to run me over with this patient in the bed. I mean, she literally ANNOUNCED it. Can y’all imagine the look on the patient’s face as soon as he realized the person pushing his bed meant to run a person over? I know this puts my facility in a bad light, however, I am fairly certain that every hospital has got an X.
But here’s where the fantasy comes in, y’all! While I’m sitting here thinking about ways to achieve a hostile takeover of that little department with the (mostly) fun people in it, I am visualizing the look on X’s face when she finds out that I’m her new boss. And as mean as it sounds? It makes me laugh, because going through my mind is the following: Be careful! The butt you tried to run over today might be the one you have to kiss tomorrow.
In other news…Lisa at Lisa Macy Coaching has started a challenge for the month of May, and my goal is to re-commit to lifting 3 times per week with a secondary goal of being able to deadlift 1.5 times my body weight. I will post weekly at the end of one of my posts for the week when I hit each goal. 🙂
Until Next Time…
Random Musings From a Type-A Workaholic 
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Lifting a glass to your plan and hope it succeeds!
But beware, there is usually a little bit of a dump on the best laid of plans…
Been there, became the boss. There are some perks, but unfortunately it doesn’t change Screw Lucy – mostly just a different take on it. Once a Screw Lucy……
But that was just me.
You go girl! There isn’t much a nice vodka can’t inspire!
(I prefer the caramel vodka from Smirnoff for soothing work problems lol..)
I’ve gone from co-worker to boss when they promoted me to my current position just under seven years ago, and OMG, yes! THAT was a transition, to be sure. I’m fairly sure Lucy will still have that screw loose, and I am also betting that I have a snowball’s chance in hell of taking over that department, but oh, it’s fun to dream! 🙂
I, too, love a good caramel vodka, as well as a nice glass of vino to sooth the worries of the work day. 😉
Thank you for stopping by, and I’m off to visit your corner of the web. 🙂
~~Jules
I am so stealing the ScrewLucy that is brilliant!!! And your ScrewLucy needs to be throat punched discretely of course.
I KNEW I liked you for a reason! 😉 She really IS a piece of work. I wish I could take credit for coming up with ScrewLucy, but I “borrowed” it from Stephen King’s short story, “L.T.’s Theory of Pets” where the Siamese was named Lucy but the protagonist called her ScrewLucy, LOL…
Never got into King – other than “Under the Dome” which was brilliant (the TV show not so much) I am more of a Robert McCammon girl myself.
I’ve never read him, but will give him a whirl…ALWAYS love a new author to explore. And yes, Under the Dome was an amazing read. You’re right, the TV show went way beyond the actual story.
Holy Toledo! So not what I was expecting! Boy is she gonna regret being mean! She’s probably going to end up with the brownest nose you ever saw! lolol
Hahah! I know that’s right! Now if I can just talk my boss into letting me have that department!
Fingers crossed for you! 😀 hahaha That would be the ultimate!!!!!! 😀
Then that whole Karma-thing will come into play, lol! 😀
Exactly! And I can’t wait to hear about it! lol 😀
And you KNOW I will blog all about it! 😉
😀
Oh, and NOT the kind of domination I was thinking of….LOL
*snort* you are killing me here! Try the veal, she’ll be here all week!
Made me laugh, several times. I worked in a hospital for several years, and there were some ScrewLucys there, too. Well, for that matter, there are ScrewLucys where I work now, in a non-medical office, so I guess we all have them. If you ever become her boss, be sure to keep us posted on new developments!
Oh, absolutely! I think every workplace has a ScrewLucy and/or a Nom-Nom, who is another character my team and I have had to contend with. I will save her for another post. (Insert evil grin here)
every workplace and family has a ScrewLucy…We have a ScrewJeanne…I actually call her FuckOffJeanne…
Oh, snap! Water outta my nose, girl!
Do a CORI on her. She may be cousins of your ex neighbors. By the way, isn’t that the tigger song? “She’s flouncey flouncey, fun, fun, fun,fun fun! But the wonderful thing about Lucy, is that she’s the crazy one”.
🙂
Hahahahahahaha! I am soooo glad I am home! I think after I pick up the heavy things and put them down again it is going to be a vodka kind of night.
If that’s the case, I’m definitely going to check out your blog after baseball practice. 😉 There’s should be some choice words to be read here tonight! lol
What? I have to blog again tonight? Muwahahahaha! Ok. I must find a topic.
I’m looking forward to it!
Holy cow! I am so brain fried, I can’t even start it. And it turned out to be an ice water night, after all!
Ice water be damned! 🙂
Apparently I used my allotted brain cells for the day at work, lol!
Lol! I hear you. It was a long day.
But the weekend is a’coming! 😀
With vodka?
Oh, I sure hope so!
Vodka and blogging is a recipe for success. 🙂
I should sub-title it, “The Vodka Chronicles” lol!
I like it! Lends itself to sequels.
Yes! Brilliant!