Do you remember what it was like being a kid?
Do you ever wish you didn’t remember being a kid?
The upside to being a kid (especially if you are anything like the kid at left, or, more specifically, me) is that you eventually grow out of it.
Yeah, I was that kid. I think the kid pictured has straighter bangs than I did, but you get the point. I was picked last for everything that was important to kids; kickball, dodgeball, softball, volleyball, teams in class for group projects…You get the idea, I’m sure. I wore glasses from the age of 7, had hideous plaid pants (and am still not entirely convinced those heinous things were really in style at all), and I was the girl whose chest decided it needed to go into overdrive before any of the other girls’.
I was, however, picked first for things like orchestra…you know…goober activities to kids in that age group. So fine…I can still play the first AND second violin parts to Bach’s Brandenburg Concerto #3, First Movement. By heart. I was also first string/first chair for a junior high school orchestral group when I was still in elementary school. While it might sound good now? That never made me score ANY points with the cool kids, either. I also had good grammar and punctuation habits, which, happily, followed me into adulthood. This is also why it is REALLY bugging me that the meme I cabbaged off the Interwebz is driving me nuts because “Get’s” is NOT a legit contraction. Sue me.
I was also one of three losers who went along with the class plan to cross our eyes for our group picture that time in fifth grade. I just wanted to be a cool kid, and all of the cool kids were going to be doing it, too, except that they weren’t and this, apparently, was just another in a long line of twisted childhood practical jokes, many of which I found myself the butt of. Nina and Carrie, the other two girls with their eyes crossed, may or may not have received the same parental dressing down that I got when the customary 5×7″ print was delivered. OMG, I was in so much TROUBLE!
So you kind of get the drift of what being that school-aged goober was like for me. I outgrew it, mostly, but sometimes…
Then there are days like today. I had been walking about three inches off the ground (which is a pretty cool-ass trick, considering I am still sporting the boot from hell) for the last month or so after having been given a second department to supervise; my heart’s professional desire, if you will.
During a conversation with a peer, it slipped out that I was not the first person even considered or asked to take that department. This dropped my jaw because I had only been making a grand amount of noise pertaining to being given the chance to take that department and run with it. Like, for months. I mean, come on…I orchestrated an appreciation week for them that followed the national guidelines. I had huge plans to bring morale up, improve attendance, and I’d been doing the behind-the-scenes administrative work for months and months. Further, this group of dedicated employees are professionals, not candidates for the Island of Misfit Toys, okay? For what it’s worth, I’m proud to have this department and look forward to a long and happy professional relationship with the individuals therein.
This hit me hard, and brought all those stupid childhood insecurities back to the surface.
The difference this time? (Okay, there are two differences; one being adult beverage after a bad day.) There is this lesson that I’ve learned from running…5K’s, 10K’s, half marathons, full marathons? It’s all the same. It doesn’t matter WHERE you finish, it only matters that you FINISH…and as a disclaimer, I have only run 5K’s, but aspire, in the future, to work my way up. (Track, btw, wasn’t one of the cool-kid sports, either, so at least I am consistent, right?)
At this point? I don’t really give a fat rat’s ass where I placed in the finals. The fact of the matter is that I have the department, even if it is only because nobody else wanted to deal with it. I’m still going to run with it, make it better, and finish what I started, even if I did start last out of the gate.
Besides…Success is the best revenge, right? (Obviously, there are some things I did NOT outgrow.)
Your awkward childhood memories – leave them below. Take some pity on a near-half-century old nerd-girl and tell me why I’m not alone.
Until Next Time…