I know I said my next post would be about my pistol purchase permit, but I have to vent.
My oldest Papillon, Belle (aka My Best Girl) had what we thought was a mast cell tumor removed from her underside two weeks ago.
We expected to hear from the vet regarding her pathology report within the first five days, but we didn’t. We made her follow-up appointment last week for today at four. They got her staples and sutures out and then dropped the bomb.
Belle’s mass wasn’t a mast cell tumor. It’s cancerous, and the doggie equivalent of breast cancer. Do what? Seriously? It acted like a mast cell tumor and her symptoms mimicked a mast cell tumor, but no. It’s cancer. 😦
Now, let me give you a little background on My Best Girl. We got her in April of 2005 (in fact, she just had her 11th birthday on Friday, 1/29). She has been my best friend ever since. I remember leash training her with treats, and taught her sit/stay, high five, and roll over when she was a puppy.
She had a couple of litters (the first was deliberate, because paps are hard to find around here) and the second by accident. We decided, after the first litter, that we couldn’t handle the puppies going away because we got too attached…Plus shelter dogs. We kept two from the first litter and three from the second.
At any rate…this little doggie has been my best friend for almost 11 years. When I left to go stay with my mom for a couple of surgeries, she moped the entire time I was gone. When I went to my God-daughter’s funeral in Texas for a week last summer? It took three days for her to come out of our bedroom. (As I’m typing this, she’s curled up in my office chair behind me, so I’m forced to sit forward.) So you get the picture.
Our vet recommended a chest x-ray to see if her chest cavity was clear of tumors. We agreed, and thankfully, she was clear. I was stunned, to say the least.
I won’t know how to do life without my best girl. I don’t know what it is about dogs, but I expect them to be with me forever.
Children grow up and move out, but dogs? Not so much. When they say that puppies are a 15 year commitment? I’m down with that. But what happens after 15 years? How do you let go of a fur-kid that you loved (and vice versa) for over a decade?
I can’t even (and don’t want to) imagine. I may be in denial, but I will be wrecked when Belle crosses the Rainbow Bridge. She is family, my best friend, and someone I hope to spend a few more years with, at least. ❤
Dog lovers? Hit me up with a comment.
Until next time…
Julie, I feel your pain my dear. Enjoy each and every day you are blessed to share with her. We experienced the loss of our big old 13 year old “Chester” last spring, and knew what we chose to do for him, which meant not having him suffer, was the best for him. But it hurt and almost a year later still hurts. Give your Bestie hugs and kisses, and from me to you. XXXXOOOO Peggy
❤ Thanks so much, Peggy!
Aw, Julie – dogs are family. We lost 2 a couple of years ago, one to cancer and one to bloat. Both were elderly. Even though I now have, and love, my Puppy Cody, I still miss the ones we lost. Letting a sick pet go is very hard – I won’t say it’s as hard as losing a child, but it still hurts. If you have to let her go, at least you’ll know she’s had a long, full life of love – don’t make her suffer just to keep her around. Sometimes love requires that hard decisions be made. Good luck to both of you.
I won’t put her through chemo. I want a better life (and death) for her than that. Our vet totally got that. I have friends going thru chemo, and I can’t do that to my girl.
Quality of life is so important and I don’t want her hating life at all.
Right now, she’s good, but I am going to be feeling her up (equivalent of our BSE’s) on the regular…
I don’t want to let her go, but if she gets that sick? Yeah.
You might remember the post I wrote about our dogs – maybe you’ll find it comforting: http://cordeliasmomstill.com/2015/11/02/changes-and-losses-ii-lifes-sequel-re-blog/
Okay, and I’m bawling (quietly so Belle doesn’t see.).
You absolutely did the right thing. It is SOOO hard to let them go. But still…
When the vet was talking about chemo, my mind put up a wall. I am seeing people I work with dealing with that. I don’t want to put my best girl in that position. Quality of her life means more to me than what I want (and what I want is for her to be with me always, so we know that isn’t an option.)
I will continue to feel her up, and keep watch over her until the day she can’t feel happy about being alive.
It will hurt me, but it would hurt me more to know that she suffered. I love her that much.
I’m here if you need someone to talk to privately: email@example.com.
Thank you! ❤
Cue up We are Family. Dogs are family, period!
I am wrecked, Rob. I really am.
I feel your pain, my friend. We do what we can. The best we can do is have unconditional love. My heart goes out to you.