Something New – The Weekly Wrap-Up

There have been so many situations going on in my life this week, I figured the best way to deal with them all (new and revisited) would be to start a weekly wrap up of “stuff.”

So here it is – Our first ever wrap-up.

Made it this far. Yay!

The Neighbors:

The recliner, sadly, was COMING, not GOING. 😦 BOOO!

Did they move out? Awww, HELL, no.

They moved another one IN! Are you freaking kidding me????  As if one wasn’t enough, the second one moved in.  Then the U-Haul truck showed up, with the recliner that I thought was going rather than coming…and recliner makes three! They had a whole driveway full of cars on Monday night. I suspect they were all drinking for the occasion.  I guess it took 8 car/truck-loads full of people to get that recliner up the stairs and into the house, huh?

I got first hand experience and a great view because I was out walking that night and thought I was going to be run over not once, but twice. I was wearing a bright shirt and walking a white dog.  How do you not see me, jerk?  Really?  This is how you’re going to make a first impression in our neighborhood?  (Don’t blame me if you get a flaming bag of dog poo on your porch as a welcome gift. I’m just sayin’.) Way to drink and drive, asshole!

The Boobs:

As you know, I’ve recently delved into the realm of breast reduction surgery.

My Incision Type.

I know, I know, I promised a before picture, but I am going to wait and take one when I am wearing something other than scrubs, you know, so you’ll get the full impact of why I am doing this. (And we have already determined that this girl is taking the before and after pictures with her shirt on – while I AM unfiltered, I am not porn. 😉 ) However, I am going to be as open and honest as I can about this ginormous step in the right direction to feeling comfortable in my own skin.  I know I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating: I am more than the sum of my breasts, and if you can tell me what color my eyes are? You’re doing better than 95% of the people I that I know.

I talked to my doctor in depth about what I hope to accomplish with this surgery and why I am doing it, and we have decided, as previously indicated, that the anchor-type of incision is the way for me to go, given the amount of tissue that needs to be gone.

Before he can submit my paperwork to my insurance company, however…


I can totally do this!

As you know, I must be 30 days nicotine-free before the Doc will submit my paperwork. Not just SMOKE-free, mind you. Totally and completely nicotine-free. No patch, no nicotine gum, no cutting back further (I did cut back a lot during the two weeks between when I made the appointment and the actual appointment, which helped), etc. This was no holds barred cold turkey; the stuff nightmares are made of! My last real cigarette was at 9:30 p.m. (EST) on Monday, March 19, 2012. (All I can say is thank goodness for nicotine free e-cigs…)

So far, so good. I think tonight has been the worst night so far, because it’s Friday, and I like my wine on Friday nights, and I really enjoy smoking while I enjoy my wine on Friday nights.  It’s ok, though, really. I haven’t been homicidal or anything. In fact, this isn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. It’s not been a walk in the park, especially since the hubs is still smoking away, but screw it. I can so totally do this. 🙂 And I have had the added bonus of the support from several of my favorite bloggers (thank you, ODNT, Bad Luck Detective, & Been There Claire! Y’all rock and I appreciate you more than you will know!), and my wonderfully supportive network of really great girlfriends!  I love you guys… 🙂 ❤

Miscellaneous Stuff:

I am excited to be taking a short Suarez into Charlotte for the Mary Kay Career Conference this weekend. It’s always fun to get some time away with the girls, even if we are all wearing pink. I have only been to Charlotte once, and that was to go to Carrowinds with my sister back in ’02 to celebrate my soon-to-be-final divorce.

I hear the downtown area is beautiful in the spring, so I suspect I will be smuggling my camera into my suitcase, because we are arriving early, and are not committed to anything until 7:00 p.m. so I am hoping to take some sweet pictures while there. (You can take the girl out of the studio, but not the studio out of the girl!)  I’ll update you as I can!

Until Next Time…

Boobs…What Do They Mean To You?

Yes, I know…this sounds like an R to X rated post, but it’s really only a PG-13 post. (Sorry, men…it is what it is…)

So those of you that know me know that I’m well endowed.  Overly so.

Those of you that have known me since I was ten years old know that I was the only one in Mr. Mintz’s 5th grade class picture that had hooters. IDENTIFIABLE hooters. (Go back and look…red sweater, god-awful tortoise-shell oval glasses, and BOOBs…bigger ones than anyone else in the class.

That’s where it all started. I wanted a training bra, and my mom used to tell me that mine stood up just fine and didn’t need to be trained, even tho all of my girlfriends were wearing these adorable little training bra/tank-like things. *sigh*

Fast forward to Junior High School: I was what? 12 in 7th grade? Flag football was NOT a contact sport, but apparently, Jimmy L********* thought it was and grabbed two handfuls of C cup and said, “Oooooh, Chi-chi’s!”  Damn him anyway.  I think he got suspended for that.  Needless to say, my PE grade suffered because I refused to play flag football again.

I was always the girl with the big upper-frontals.  I was always the girl who hated it.

I was stick thing.  A toothpick with two of those Hostess Snow-Balls stuck to the front.

Imagine THESE stuck to a toothpick. That was me in my younger years. Dammit.

Then I grew up. I didn’t mind the “girls” as long as they stayed at a c-cup or below. And then…then I hit my late 30’s and everything changed. If I gained weight? It went to my boobs. If I lost weight, it came off my butt (which I had very little of, anyway…). When I married Johnny in ’03 I was on the high end of a C cup, low end of a D cup and jiggled when I moved, and was not loving that.

You can see the deterioration of gravity due to age and weight. Altho, while I thought this was bad then? It actually looks pretty decent now. *sigh*

I had gone to see my family physician in ’05 about shoulder/neck/back pain and the grooves in my shoulders and they told me to go to physical therapy and work out. Whatever. That didn’t work out as planned:

Even after losing weight, I was a stick figure with a size 12 butt and a size 18 top. NOT cool.

Then Johnny had multiple surgeries on his cervical spine, so I thought less about my stuff and more about his. But I still had (have) pain in my shoulders, neck, and back.

I know that the hubs loves the girls, and I approached the subject delicately, if nothing else, over the last year or so, but it’s gotten to the point where I have been hurting daily, working out makes me cry (try jogging, an elliptical workout, or brisk walk with ten pound flour bags affixed to your chest and tell me it isn’t uncomfortable for you!)  No, really…Go ahead…I freaking double DOG dare you!  Sit ups? A nightmare for my neck.

Finally, I grew a pair and contacted a friend’s plastic surgeon, who happens to be employed where I work, and they are going to see me for a reduction consultation in two weeks. Upside? Smaller boobs, less back/neck/shoulder pain, and the elimination of painful indentations in my shoulders from straps.

Downside? I have to be NICOTINE free for four weeks prior to the surgery and six weeks post-op.  No patch, no gum. we’re talking cold freaking turkey.  HOWEVER…Lung cancer and heart disease haven’t phased me into quitting, but sadly? Less pain and a better self-image have shamed me into quitting.

This is really a hard blog for me to write, but if you’re all going to be there with me?  What the hell, right? Let’s “bare” it all, ok?

Till next time….