Weddings & Smoking

A new and busy week has begun.

Congratulations, Pam & LP!!! I love y’all!

I went to my friend, Pam’s, wedding on Saturday in the capacity of “guest” who just happens to be a professional photographer, so it was kind of an all access pass for me. Generally, as hired help, I don’t have access to the abundance of food and beverage available to the guests. Well, after bringing the hubs along for the ride, I didn’t indulge here, either, but that’s ok. I think a glass of wine or a couple of beers would have done me in, because there was smoking. A LOT of smoking. I think that had I been drinking in a social situation, it could have been very bad, as in my head would have spun, and I would have been snarky bad.

If anyone reading this has ever quit, then you might be able to relate. It seemed like everywhere I turned there was a lit cigarette. Even the children were lighting up. Ok, no, not really, but it sure seemed like it.

Celtic tradition is really romantic!

I think the kids and I were the ONLY ones not smoking. And that may be an untruth, but I cant swear to it. 🙂

The ceremony was beautiful. My friends are not what you would call religious traditionalists. They are creatives (she’s a painter and he is a musician) and I love that about them. It was a very casual/bohemian-style wedding with some Celtic tradition thrown in, as well. I initially thought I might be under dressed, wearing a long sundress, shrug, and flip-flops, but no. I fit right in. Who says Bohemian is bad? LOL…

I’ve sent Pam & LP their web-res images and going to be burning and sending the full res images to them soon. 🙂

Like I have NOTHING else to do, I asked Shaunna Rodriguez, writer of Her Obsession to let me proof her books-to-be, and I am just tickled, because she said she could really use my help! If there is one thing I love next to reading? It’s reading to help an author. I worked with Sandra Carrington-Smith last December on A Killer in Sight, and I eventually would like to write AND edit, as well as photograph and blog. I hate that I’m such a creative, as it doesn’t make a mint, (especially since I am no Jenny Lawson or Stephen King), but it makes me happy, so….

Speaking of Jenny Lawson…Guess what came in the mail today? Yes!!! My pre-ordered book, and I feel uber special to be the last of my friends to receive her copy. I had to laugh the other night when J and I were at WalMart, picking up some groceries. Our WalMart is one of those “Super” ones and has a book/magazine section, so of course I had to slow down and see if I could find a hard-bound book with Hamlet von Schnitzel on the cover. I mean, if the AIRPORT got theirs before I got my pre-ordered copy, it’s entirely possible that my local Wally-World got some before I did, too. Do you know how strange it sounds to tell your spouse, “Hey, if you see a book with a taxidermied (is that even a word?) mouse dressed in period clothing on the cover, would you let me know?” Well, maybe you do…Or maybe it just isn’t that strange, considering we WERE in WalMart, after all, and I HAVE seen the People of WalMart. That said, I think I’m going to have to climb on the exercise bike (because I didn’t make it to the gym after work this afternoon) with this book and do some recreational reading before I get back to editing. 🙂

Gee, it sucks to be me…I read for leisure, I read to edit. Damn.

Ok, so the reason I didn’t make it to the gym was twofold. The first reason is that both pairs of white sneakers had grass stains on them, so I threw them into a bleach and soap pre-soak and then a wash cycle late yesterday afternoon, so of COURSE they weren’t dry in time to pack my bag for the gym this morning. The other reason is because the day job was simply dreadful, and I REALLY needed to have my poor nails done. After having snapped off the right thumbnail overlay a couple of weeks ago, I thought I would wait as long as I could to get them done, as I’ve been kinda busy, lately. As luck would have it, I started noticing lift, and today that one nail was catching and snagging on EVERYTHING, and it was really starting to get up my nose.

This beats my former scurvy manicure. I really need to make more time for me. 😉

So I went to my regular nail place straight after work. The cute girl who does my nails was nowhere to be found, so a new person did my nails, which were, even in my opinion, simply atrocious. The newcomer was a DUDE, man…A GUY! I don’t know about y’all, but I’ve NEVER had a guy do my nails before. I don’t know about y’all, but getting my nails done is kind of a personal hygiene thing to me. And having a GUY doing them? Initially I was seriously skeeved out, but he wasn’t whimpy about doing them. (That is NOT to say I like it a little rough, thank you. Get your minds OUT of the gutter…) I found out, however, that not all my fingers have equal flexibility. It seems that the middle fingers on both hands have a little more flexibility than the rest of my fingers. I simply canNOT imagine why that is. Just sayin’…

I know they tell me to come back at the two and a half week point, but I just never seem to remember, and today it was 4 weeks and 2 days since I’d last been and I was looking more than a little ragged in the digits area.

After he restored my “ten” to a “perfect ten” I got the hand massage, which, apparently, I need to get J to learn, because after a whole day on a computer keyboard? There are only one or two things I can thing of the would feel any better. One is wine. 😉 Just sayin’….Oh, HONEYYYYY! 😉

Until Next Time…

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Things I Learned This Week…

You will probably be SO sorry you opened this window and read this blog. Turn back now if you are faint hearted.

Before I go on, though, I have to send a shout out to my girl Tricia, who brought a huge bottle of Bohemian Chardonnay over to the studio this evening, which actually facilitated the ease in which I was able to put this blog together this evening, after the week from freaking HELL! (Just saying…and they say Bohemian like it’s a bad thing…?)

The following items of interest (?) are things I either learned on the ‘Net, or saw on tv and had to follow up on…

The Tummy Tuck Belt (TV): Ok. I know. The 30 minute informercial might actually seem like this is something that might work, and me, being the lazy girl that I am, but still needing to trim some *ahem* fat off my mid-section? I was on this like white on rice. But I Googled reviews for this bad boy first. All I can say is I’m glad I didn’t go there. I’d rather eat, but that goes without saying, ha ha.

Vajazzling (The Interwebz): OMG. Seriously? Yes.

I am not kidding. It IS what it seems to be…I simply added “Bedazzling” to “Vajayjay” and googled and lo and behold? I was freaking RIGHT?  WTF?  I am never right, but this time I was. Go Google it. I know I live in Small Town, America, but dang. Only a few of my friends actually knew what this was, and they aren’t exactly my “in the know” friends…I read the term in a blog yesterday, and then saw it again this morning, so you KNOW I googled. OMG. Like my personal bits aren’t going to be on a rebellion after a wax, I want to glue sparkly things to it next? Oh, no. not THIS girl. I have tattoos and piercings, but somehow? I just don’t think I can bring myself to even try this. Even Jennifer Love-Hewitt talks about it:

I know…I know…I loved her in “I Know What You Did” and “Ghost Whisperer,” but I have a whole new respect for her.  I mean, c’mon…she vajazzles!!!!

youble.com (the Interwebz):

Ok, so I tweet, and I caught “The Simple Dude” on Twitter this afternoon, and he was retweeting a blog by “Lost in Idaho” about youble. You need to check it out. It’s like having a personal trainer in the Cloud. I am probably going to cancel my Y membership, because one month of them will finance THREE months of youble. Anyone that can offer a two week free trial is ok in my book and I will totally check it out and let you know what I think in our Weekly Wrap-Up tomorrow.

Instagram (The Interwebz & Word of Mouth):

Yes, I took this at my day job. This little smart ass bird sits on my desk and has numerous obnoxious signs. 🙂

Soooo…I am probably the last iPhone user in the world to jump on this particular band wagon. I didn’t even really know what it was until about a month ago, and then my friend Missy told me about it again a couple of weeks ago, and I finally got around to downloading and installing this bad boy to my iPhone yesterday.

It’s like Facebook for photo geeks. I’m serious! And what is super cool is that once you take the picture and put it into Instagram, it gives you options for different effects. Like this one to the right errr…other right, aka left? I believe it’s called “Ink Well” and gives one a really cool black and white effect.

I love black and white almost as much as I love Sepia!!!

Ok, kids. That’s it for tonight. I’ll be back tomorrow with the Weekly Wrap-Up.

I hope your Good Friday is GREAT!!!!

Till Next Time….

Me? Fashion-Forward? That, and Other Lies I Tell

So I recently realized that with the little (ok, LOT) of extra weight I’ve been carrying around, and my usual Bohemian style, I do not exactly fit the image of the business/fashion savvy Mary Kay Beauty Consultant.

No. That’s a lie.  One of many that I am about to ‘fess up to.  I look nothing like the image of the business/fashion savvy Mary Kay Beauty Consultant.

The second lie I am about to admit to is the one I’ve been telling myself for several years now: “Jules, you rock those scrubs!”  No.  I don’t. If we want to be really honest, it’s a rare woman of my size that CAN rock the scrub look.  Scrubs are to my day job what loungewear is to my home-life.  A comfortable necessity.

The third lie: I have good decent taste in clothes. Wrong. Regarding clothing styles, all of my taste is in my mouth.

Case in point:  I asked my friend, Marty, who is also my Mary Kay Director (and yes, she was my friend before she was my director) last week if she might want to go shopping with me to see if I couldn’t find a decent suit to start wearing to meetings, functions, and skin care classes.  She was tickled, and immediately said she would come with me, so we set a date, and went out this evening to see if we couldn’t do a little retail damage.

Now, here’s the thing about Mary Kay & me. I wasn’t going to do this again. (Lie.)  And if I did do it, I was only going to use the training to integrate color into my studio and be an own-use consultant. (Lie.)  Oh, and I certainly was NOT going to put the product onto faces. (Lie.) Yes, I am aware that I probably should wear a skirt, but I have skirts and they will be fine, but I’m SO not wearing heels. (Lie and lie.)  Furthermore, I was not going to advance in the company, had no desire to be a team leader, a Director, or drive a company car. (Lie, lie, and, yes, LIE!)

This is how I looked shortly after I signed my consultant agreement.  This photo was taken at Monday Night Live in December, before Christmas (and before the incident with the dog that ran me

You know I trust you with this, right?

Me…at my first Mary Kay function in December. Stop laughing. I can totally hear you.

over).  This is the henna traffic cone hair, pulled up in a twist, with what once were bangs unattractively framing my face and extra chin(s?). Notice the shrug and the Bohemian peasant skirt that I love with all my heart and soul.  What you can’t see are the grey faux-suede pirate boots that I also love.  In this picture I am totally tickled because I was actually being recognized (and in the future when you all see this picture you WON’T recognize me) for something fairly important, but I can’t remember what it was, probably because I was in shock from actually being recognized for doing something.  That part is kind of addicting.

Alright, so I digress.

About a month after this picture was taken, I was about sick of my hair, so I sucked it up and called Marty and asked her who did her hair. I have this fine, thin head of hair that goes amuck after it gets to a certain length and I was thinking that it was time for a change, and since  Marty’s hair is fine, too, I thought maybe her lady could hook me up with a new look.  So I called Anna, and made an appointment, had to work late the day of the appointment, so rescheduled for two days later. Ended up with a bug, so rescheduled for the following Saturday, and went.

Y’all…I gotta tell you. Anna is a miracle worker.  I’m going to attach a picture of me the day I got the mop chopped. MUCH better than the before. She even deepened

A cute cut and good color make a big difference. Now what shall we do about that wardrobe?

the red, and I absolutely LOVE it!

I even went so far as to get gel done on my nails because I wanted pretty hands, and then after being places with other women, I started noticing that there was really only one frumpy lady around and that was me.  Hence my call to Marty…I guess it was like an SOS.

We went out tonight. I brought Peri with us, because she’s always kind of been the voice of reason when it comes to clothing, because unlike me, Peri DOES have fashion sense. So Marty, Peri and I had a quick bite of dinner at our favorite Mongolian grill, and went off to have a little retail therapy.  Now, because I am on a wicked budget, we went to Ross Dress for Less, because Marty said she has always had fairly decent luck there.  Boy, I’ll say.  I know I had my cart piled with at LEAST 20 outfits to try on.  (And I have to admit I was a little sad when Marty wouldn’t let me snag the killer caftan hanging on the OTHER rack across from the professional attire.) And danged if they all didn’t look cute on the rack!  Then we went to shoes. O. M. G.!

Shoes…I have never been a huge shoe person. Give me something comfortable, flat and sensible to wear and I’m happy.  Marty and Peri are down with platforms, and pumps with heels (WHAT????), and ok, I admit, I was curious to try a pair on.  Well I came home with two pair. *shrug*  Who knew? (I’m a handbag junkie.)

So after the shoes, we went to the fitting room, and I ducked in with my first allotted grouping of outfits. Tried on a formal dress marked down to THIRTEEN BUCKS, and I thought it looked HORRIBLE on me.  I walked out, and not only were Marty & Peri giving me thumbs up, the sales girl was, too!  WTH?  Okay….So I tried on a couple dress/jacket combos and got yes to one, meh for a couple others, and then went on to suits.  Oh, heavens.  Each one *I* thought looked good?  Didn’t.  In fact, at one point, I walked out, and in stereo, Marty & Peri said, “NOOOOOO” and to add a three part harmony, the sales girl chimed in, “Oh, no, honey…that looks old on you…”

Long story shorter, I ended up with a dress/jacket combo, the formal dress and two pairs of shoes…really high shoes.  Nosebleed shoes.

We get in line at the check out, and the lady in front of us has a metal chicken that the cashier is bagging up. (Apparently one can get ANYTHING at Ross Dress For Less.) I burst out laughing. Marty & Peri looked at me and all I could get out was one word:  BEYONCE!   Yes, they thought I was nuts and I could not explain the whole metal chicken giggles until the lady left with her little metal chicken.  For those of you who are not familiar, I am attaching a link to the Bloggess’ entry pertaining to Beyonce, the five foot tall metal chicken.  Now, please be advised that Jenny has no filter, so her blogs are not for the faint of heart.

Given that I still don’t have a black pencil skirt or matching jacket, we’ve decided that while in Raleigh tomorrow, between MK parties, Peri and I are going to go to the mall and do a little more shopping.  Marty made Peri promise not to let me leave with hippie skirts, moo-moos, or anything else in my usual wardrobe choices.  Damn, but change is hard, y’all!

In closing, I am going to leave you with a picture of the first pair of heels I’ve owned in YEARS (btw, I believe those are FOUR inch heels).  Enjoy.  Well, that, and pray I don’t break my fool neck getting around in these bad boys. I hate shopping….except that I am going back to Ross to see if I can’t go find my own little metal chicken…cuz it really was cool!

Here’s to not falling and breaking something. Cheers!